The Unenviable State
of America
The Universal Studio at Los
Angeles has a number of rides which specialize in springing up the most unexpected
shocks on unsuspecting visitors. No doubts the rides are exhilarating but they
are surely not good for the health of the faint-hearted; Obamacare or no
Obamacare. In these days of “new normal”
and “alternate facts”, the whole of USA has now become a giant universal
studio. Not a day goes by before some
new ride is introduced making the past, well a thing of the past! Every now and
then some ‘alternate fact’ gets introduced in the collective memory of the
populace which makes one start wondering whether one is still living in the real
world or has unknowingly migrated into the Matrix.
This time I landed here on 20th
January, the day the new CEO occupied the corner room of the headquarters of
his vast conglomerate. Today on the 20th
of February when the TV Talking Heads are talking their heads off listing the
successes / failures of the new CEO, I can’t but resist taking a look (from an
Outsider’s point of view) at just a few of the reality shows that have been aired
on prime time with a great amount of fanfare in this one month. Their
storylines in brief are provided:
To Russia With Love: Mystery.
A four star General in charge of the security of a conglomerate is found
playing games with a competitor raising doubts from the keepers of anti-trust laws.
The CEO of the company feels confident that the Security Chief has not done
anything wrong and that he (the CEO) would anyway have told him (the Security
Chief) to play games if only he (the Security chief) had taken his (the CEO’s)
permission. Alas, the game the Security
Chief was playing turned out to be Russian roulette.
Not So Amusing. So Sad.
Quo Vadis?: Game Show. It’s
a revamp of the age-old game played by Romans guarding the city of Rome. Since
all the roads lead to Rome, anyone who set foot on any road, eventually found
himself at the gates of Rome anyway. There were people who came from faraway
places like Mesopotamia, Iran, Baghdad and Damascus too. Anybody who approached
the gates of Rome was asked to name himself and then allowed to enter Rome if
found suitable. Otherwise they were just fed to lions or given over to
gladiators for their practice matches before the main one in Colosseum. It all depended
whether their names were on the list prepared by Caesar or not. The revamped
game now is made slightly more humane. After asking the names of newcomers, the
guards grant or refuse entry to the newcomers based on one of the two questions
which have been standardized. The question selected is solely based on the
guard’s state of mind and not in any way dependent on the person seeking entry.
The two questions are:
·
Spell the word “God”.
·
Spell the word “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”
Persons spelling the word allotted to them correctly are
let inside the game-show and those who fail the test are asked to try again
after 90 days.
So Humane. So Satisfying.
The Judgement Day: Beauty
Pageant: The Finalists are asked to appear for a viva voce in order to
decide upon the Winner. The Sole Examiner who interviews the Finalists has a
rich experience of conducting beauty pageants and very likely the questions
posed to the competitors are the ones which appeared in past versions of Miss
World contest. Since all the rounds take place in camera, it is not known if
exciting rounds like swim-suit round etc are included or not. Only hitch is the
Finalists are all top jurists in the land.
So Hilarious.
In his recent episode of GPS, Fareed
Zakaria compared the current situation to a children’s toy which most of us
must have enjoyed as toddlers - a “rocking horse”. The toddler riding the toy
has a great sense of motion and exhilaration that accompanies his / her
apparent motion, but an onlooker doesn’t see it (rocking horse or the toddler
thereon) progress anywhere. In this case one is tempted to call this particular
toy a “rocking ass” because sometimes in these days of alternate realities the
distinction between rider and ridden can become a bit blurred.
But light-hearted banter apart,
unless things improve more than just a bit, the next State of the Union address
will be a short one: Unenviable, unimaginable and Un-United.
As a complete aside (not remotely
connected with anything or anyone past or present) my friend Guy Wise tells me the word “trumpery” as defined
by The Oxford English Dictionary means ‘deceit, fraud, imposture, trickery’.
The word is derived from old French ‘tromperie’ which means deceit and has its
roots in the French verb ‘tromper’ which means to deceive. The word was first used in 1456. Ahhh. What
clairvoyance! And here I have been singing praises of Americans for being
clairvoyant. (The Clairvoyant Americans )
LazyBee
20th February 2017.
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