Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones is a hugely popular HBO series which has till now successfully completed seven seasons in US. The eighth and concluding season is being eagerly awaited here with people guessing how the story will unfold and who will ultimately win the game of thrones. Last year HBO started screening the series simultaneously in India too. The series is now acclaimed as the most watched in the history of television. So in case you have missed out on watching that, better start on it right away so that you can enjoy the finale with the rest of the world and not have your life ruined by spoiler alerts later on.

The story, which unfolds in the land of Westeros, begins after the turbulent reign of Mad King Aerys II of  Targaryn dynasty has ended. The character of Mad King is brought alive through various references in the story. The Mad King, being mad and king to top it up was obviously not answerable and was beyond any disciplining by anyone. The viewers have often wondered how the mad king’s reign would have been portrayed. What atrocities would the Mad King have performed? How much many more gruesome beheadings and murders would have been there? But the viewers need not be too concerned, what is unfolding for the last 18 months or so in US is not much different from the Mad King’s reign in Westeros.

Of course there are a few differences given the fact that we live in more “civilized” times (???). Whereas the Mad King would gladly order “Off with his head” when he found someone just a trifle annoying, the current avatar of Mad King has to remain content with sacking his minions as and when it pleases him. And while for those of his enemies who were not directly under his command the Mad King could order his garrison to throw wildfire balls and send his army to march against them, the current avatar has his own twitter gun with which he fires wild volley after wild volley trying to set fire to the polity which has never seen a king as thoroughly unhinged as this one and commands his supporters to march to the ballots to overcome any opposition.

But just as the Mad King Aerys II Targeryn met his end at the hands of Jamie Lannister - a member of his Kingsguard, an elite team of knights specifically trusted to protect him, it is very likely that this current avatar would also succumb to the dagger of his once close confidants. He has already had his Brutus moment “Et tu Michael?” and now it just remains to be seen if the dagger has gone deep enough.

It is becoming clearer day by day that there is something rotten in the state of Denmark. The secrecy about what actually transpired at Helsinki in the one-on-one meeting is puzzling to say the least. How even the Congress and Senate can be kept in dark about agenda and outcome of such an important meeting is frankly beyond comprehension. This is surely something which NO other democracy would EVER allow.

All this has, off course, not gone unnoticed and people (even Republicans) have begun to talk. The talk about ‘golden shower’ is not going to go away. It is on record that reporters have asked the most famous former KGB Lieutenant Colonel “….whether he has any compromat (short for ‘compromising material’) on his counterpart……”. The Helsinki meeting has been variously described as “annual performance appraisal” and “debriefing by the handler”. An eminent Democrat even joked on TV whether the next (proposed) meeting at Moscow would be a “one-way ticket” for you-know-who. There is also a talk of sending the interpreter at Helsinki to jail where he may be helpful to you-know-who in penning you-know-who’s memoirs. Better that way than future historians having to stitch together zillion and a half incoherent tweets and call those ‘Presidential Memoirs’. A few names which have been suggested (by me) for such a book are “The Fake President”, “The Trumped-Up President”, “The Man with a Golden Shower”. Any suggestions from the readers may be sent directly to the White House.       

Next few months are going to be very interesting as the team of thugs tries every trick in the book and few of their own inventions on public and judiciary to mislead and block the process. Let us hope that the mid-term elections can decisively tilt the balance of power and enable the law-maker undo the mistake that this nation made two years ago.

My friend Guy Wise who is an ardent fan of John Le Carre is furiously working on his book titled     “Tinker Tailor Soldier Builder”.  Should be a good read but not much of a mystery I guess.

LazyBee

8^th August 2018

My dear fellow travelers,

My dear fellow travelers,

Greetings to you on this momentous occasion. Each one of us is the CEO of his own company. Size of our companies may be small or big, it does not really matter. All of us do ultimately share a similar dream.

Each one of us offers our individual markets a bouquet of services which the market has accepted in varying degrees but the fact remains that although our market is more or less captive, there are certain undercurrents which undermine the brand loyalty from our customers which all of us desire.

In the past, many or maybe even all of us have harbored ambitions of going global and have made enormous efforts in that direction; efforts which I must say have required expenditure of huge amount of resources and especially managerial talent. Needless to say that much of these efforts have often been directed against other corporations and even your own brethren in corresponding top management holding crucial positions in these entities. I am sure you will agree that all of us could benefit substantially if these resources and talents were to be channelized for serving our markets constructively.

We have seen a lot of technological developments in past few years that have enhanced our ability to serve our markets through vastly improved data collection and data analytics which have together enabled us to reach remotest corners of our markets. I feel time has now come to consolidate our position more and ensure that we can continue to serve our markets with more and more efficiency.

With that single agenda on my mind I have been holding one-on-one discussions with each of you and have received favourable responses. I now propose that all of us gathered here agree to restrict ourselves to the geographical markets each of us is dominant in and leave the other geographies to our fellow CEOs who may be better equipped to serve those.  

I am aware that this may appear to be a radical departure from the norms that we have been used to operating, but a little reflection may convince each of us that it would be an ideal solution to avoid the bitter marketing wars that we have been used to all these years. Let me not claim that this idea is my own. The conceptual framework for this was drawn up around seventy years ago by a little known political philosopher by the name of Eric Blair who had developed this theme in his concept paper painting an almost utopian scenario based on such an arrangement.

You may ask me why this radical departure from the time-tested routine of involving Chambers of Commerce which is a formal setting for such discussions. I cite the precedent that comes readily to my mind. In 1945, 3 CEOs of the then largest corporates met to discuss the future course of market at Potsdam. In the scenario drawn up by Eric Blair, he had predicted that such market segmentation would come to be a reality by 1984 but I think 2018 would not be a bad place to start towards it in real earnest. Better late than never. Vladimir, Li, Kim, Recep, I welcome you all to this momentous conference. Our critics in fake media have termed this as Despotsdam Conference. But let us not get distracted from our agenda. This is the greatest thing that has happened to Earth in millions of years. Let our journey to Utopia begin.

Donald

July 2018

    

Note to the reader: If you have read Eric Blair aka George Orwell’s “1984” you would have wondered how the situation depicted therein could possibly have arisen. Now you know.

Dessert Island

DESSERT ISLAND

Does there exist a boy who ever read Treasure Island or Robinson Crusoe and who has not fantasized about being marooned on a desert island? The lure of finding treasures and /or escaping from school has always held a strong fascination in juvenile minds. Of course, as the boys grow up their fantasies get a little more colorful; they find that the desert islands of their younger age are not totally deserted but are populated by numerous scantily clad beauties. I am sure you get the picture.  

Alas, in this age of satellite surveillance which has mapped every square inch of the globe, such desert islands don’t seem to exist any longer. Any such candidate islands, which may have existed in earlier times, have all been taken over by oil-drilling companies or some super power or the other as its naval base. But as they say, when one door closes some other opens. A whole new breed of desert islands have sprung up in recent times to cater to the needs of people who have long felt the need to live their fantasies. 

   

These islands are in fact are capable of floating and can travel from place to place on rivers or lakes or even on high seas for that matter.  They have space enough for hundreds and even thousands of people and moreover have all the provisions that a traveler marooned on them can hope for; fresh fruit, bread, cheese, meat, fish and wine and liquor to keep them all in good spirits. People may call them cruise ships but I feel the term “dessert islands” would be more apt.  

As air travel became more economic since 60’s and 70’s, the fortunes of ocean liners which carried passengers mainly on the trans-Atlantic route faced a steep downturn. Luckily the consumers discovered the pleasures of luxury cruising soon thereafter and the cruise - ship business picked up smartly. The cruise ships which are specifically designed for the purpose of providing the passengers with a novel experience have continually added new features and attractions to ensure that passengers get the best value for their money. This has resulted in the cruising industry now getting transformed into one of the fastest growth segments of the tourism industry.  

All these are but dry facts which need an actual experience to put it in the proper perspective and that’s what we discovered for ourselves. When we were throwing about various ideas for a class reunion of our IIT Bombay ‘76 batch in US (for a change from our normal practice) we had a few interesting choices; a national park like Yosemite or some city like Washington DC with its museums etc but the lure of a cruise proved to be too much for most of the participants (yours truly being among the more vociferous). Sure there were a number of guys for whom a cruise was no novelty but they sportingly agreed to join the rest of gang on the cruise.  

Our IITB contingent - including  alums, spouses and other family members  - probably made us the largest single group of revelers on “MS Vision of the Seas” of Royal Caribbean International as it weighed anchor at Galveston, Texas. From the moment we stepped on the ship it was as if we were on a different planet. It was the same feeling that you get say in Las Vegas where the only objective is to have as much fun as possible in the short time available there.

If you are interested in the stats, the ship had 11 decks of which decks 1 and 2 was for the ship’s personnel and the remaining housed the passengers’ cabins, restaurants and common areas for recreation. From deck 4 to deck 9 there was an open space named “Centrum” which was a sort of well with balconies from where the proceedings in the Centrum could be viewed by a large number of passengers. This also offered a grand view to passengers going up and down in capsule lifts. This was where a band of musicians would play in the evening (remember the Titanic?) and some other functions would take place every day like singing, march - past of staff carrying flags of their respective countries.  

All these cruise ships are very well manned to ensure that the guests are really well looked after. The Vision had about 2200 passengers and more than 800 crew members to take care of them. Among the passengers, the US obviously contributed the maximum numbers and there were passengers from some 30 odd nationalities. And guess what! With our group strength Indians were the second largest contingent among passengers. There were a few other Indians on board as well so I guess there were around 70 Indians there on board for that voyage. As a good fraction of our own contingent based in US were technically classified as US citizens and not Indians, we were counted as 42 but still were the second largest.

Although the Philippinos took the top slot among the crew - the Indian contingent of 200+ was in second spot. There were guys from Mumbai, Vasai, Goa, Delhi. They were happy to see so many of us and were more than willing to make our brief stay with them more enjoyable for us. So from second night onwards, at our dinner tables we were served with Indian specialties; one day it was   samosas, second day potato bhajias, other days we were served butter chicken, chicken biryani and prawn curry with shahi tukda on the last night.

Of course, food was not an issue at all. Right from the moment we stepped on the ship, the buffet at Windjammer Café on the 9^th deck was open for us almost round-the-clock with a large variety of food ; both vegetarians and  non-vegetarians had enough choices to suit their with palate. 

 

Evening dinners were a formal affair with assigned timings and seating at tables which served 3 course dinners - mostly continental style preparations. This, as mentioned earlier was supplemented by some Indian dish or the other from second dinner onwards.  

To keep the spirits high on the high seas, the cruise operators maintain a well-stocked bar. The passengers are allowed to carry one bottle of wine (not hard liquor) per person for their own consumption. Of course one bottle of wine per person is too little for a 5 day cruise and therefore passengers try their best to smuggle some more stuff on board to strike a balance between the level of spirituality planned for and the amount of damage it would cause to their wallets. The shipping company does a strict checkup while one boards the ship to try and stop passengers from being successful in their efforts to hoodwink the authorities. Not all “smugglers” succeed but some sure do. We can now say that with 100% confidence.

All the other attractions which one would expect on a cruise ship were all there - a casino to enable passengers to part with their money, shopping arcade to pick up some souvenirs, a 1000 seater theatre for entertainment shows. We had stand-up comedian shows on a couple of nights and a music program on the other.

Then there are shore excursions on the days the ship docks at different ports of call. Our ship had two stops scheduled - Progreso and Cozumel both on the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico. At Progreso, most of us took a tour of Chichen Itza which is a World Heritage Site of Mayan Civilization dating back to the sixth to the tenth century AD. While at Cozumel we took a submarine ride to see the barrier reef which is the second largest reef in the world after The Great Barrier Reef off the eastern coast of Australia.

Both the excursions were organized by the cruise operator and were fairly well-organized in terms of infrastructure on the ground, both at the port and at the site visited, transport facilities and guides etc. This is where Mexico scores well. In order to encourage tourism they have waived visa requirements for visitors. One only needs to have a valid US visa and there is no other documentation required except a pass from the cruise ship you have entered Mexico on, Sea Pass as they call it.

The road from Progreso to Chichen Itza, a distance of some 150 plus km, has been specifically built for connecting these two places. Cozumel, I understand, gets half a dozen cruise ships every day in high tourist season, each with a few thousand passengers. The entire island of Cozumel and Yucatan in general, a fairly barren and otherwise an unproductive place, is teeming with pleasure spots including Cancun which is reported to be one of the best pleasure spots of the world.

It’s no wonder that Caribbean / Mexico sector attracts one third of the cruising passengers which by the way were expected to cross 25 million worldwide in 2017.  The cruise industry world-wide is responsible for US $ 117 billion of economic impact directly generating a million jobs paying US $ 38 billion. With the cruise ships starting to call on Indian ports for past few years, India is just entering in the cruising industry and one wishes that we pay heed to the potential that it presents and try not to let bureaucracy and our ‘normal’ chalta hai attitude lose this opportunity.     

While organizing any such get-togethers of high-spirited, fiercely individualistic characters, the main challenges that organizers face are

1.       How to keep the herd together?

2.       How to feed the herd?

3.       How to keep the herd entertained?

As it turns out a cruise is the best way to achieve all that with minimum sweat. You have the herd safely corralled on the ship -  nearest land is about 3 km away, directly towards nadir; no fuming about some guys not getting ready in time to board the bus, no fretting about someone getting left behind in the hotel.

Then there is the all-important food angle. One which tends to decide upon success rating of any function. There is plenty to forage round the clock with nary a thought about what is the break - up between vegetarians and non-vegetarians, whether one should have paneer or not, how many want to /  don’t mind having / absolutely don’t want to have mushrooms? There is something for everyone’s taste. Even the drinks issue is sorted out - no worries about trying to decide how many whiskies and how many vodkas to stock. Will the whisky consumption double if we have single malt rather than the regular blended stuff? What if someone absolutely can’t do without Absolut? What shall we have rum with? Coke or coconut water? And what about chakhna? All these fundamental and most critical questions are taken care of by the cruise operator; maybe at exorbitant rates but so what?

 And lastly the entertainment - with so many things going on this is essentially a non-issue.  The herd necessarily breaks up into sub-herds which just get involved in what each of them enjoy doing best or just chilling it out. Presto, that takes care of the entertainment. Whatever you as an organizer provide is just icing on the cake. Luckily we had a number of talented singers in the group and an overwhelming majority of hindi film music lovers, so a music and antakshari program to bantaa hi thaa; this was duly complied with.

So my suggestion to you if you are considering a group vacation, be it with your school / college alums or with your family or with  like-minded guys, then give a strong consideration to finding a suitable cruise to sail away. A survey of cruise passengers had indicated that a whopping 92% of passengers would certainly consider taking another cruise in near future. I am sure after our cruise the percentage would have improved further.  

For the records ‘MS Vision of the Seas’, the vessel which we sailed on is a fairly small vessel as far as the cruise ships go. Its capacity of some 2,200 passengers and almost 900 crew members is quite small when compared to her great- grand - mom ‘MS Symphony of the Seas’ which was launched by Royal Caribbean a couple of months ago. Symphony has 18 decks, maximum passenger capacity of 6,680 and a crew strength of 2,200. It has a full-size basketball court, ice-skating rink and even a tropical park with 20,000 trees. Now that is not a floating island but a whole city with a Central Park thrown in for good measure. Compare that to the Titanic which was the largest ship built when she sailed from Southampton in April 1912. Titanic, had 9 decks with a capacity of 3,547 passengers and crew together, which is less than half the capacity of Symphony. In terms of gross tonnage (gt) which indicates the total space on the ship – Titanic was just 46,000 gt while Symphony at 228,000 gt almost 5 times as large. Even our ship Vision is 78,000 gt more than one and a half times as large as Titanic.

But on one count Titanic was better than our ship. You remember the shot from James Cameron’s Titanic where Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet are leaning across the forecastle of the ship as if they were flying over water? Unfortunately the modern cruise ships have barricaded that portion and it is not accessible to the passengers like you and me. I am wondering if I could sue the cruise operator for spoiling my dream cruise.

     LazyBee 
     18th May 2018

Of Prompt Peters and Late Latifs

December has always been a special month. It's the time when there is a large scale migration of homo sapiens across the globe, mainly for holidays / recreation and / or on account of homecoming of those settled in distant lands. Over last few decades this has been augmented by homecoming of a different kind. Hordes of alumni of different institutions home on their respective  alma mater  to meet old friends and renew their ties of friendship. 

It is now strongly felt that these specimens, generally classified as homo sapiens, are actually a distinct species now named as homo alumnus. This is an attempt to take a look at this species. 

OF PROMPT PETERS AND LATE LATIFS, AND ALSO OF REGRETFUL ROBINS AND IGNORANT IBRAHIMS

Sometime in the eighteenth century, Linnaeus laid down the basics of classification of diverse life forms. This led to developments that we are all too aware of, complicated stuff all and Greek and Latin to most of us, and a cause of endless tension during exam times. This, of course, did not mean that all the species have been found and properly classified. New theories keep on coming up all the time forcing us to reorient our thinking. A recent study carried out has brought out some startling facts about species homo alumnus. This study was confined to the alumnus of IIT Bombay but could well be extended to the entire species.  

As per the findings of the study, the species is far from homogenous as it was long held but can be further classified into four sub-species; each with a different neural make up.We publish below an abstract of the findings. Those interested in the details can await the publication of full treatise in the forthcoming issue of  Nature and  / or log on to the site www.homoalumnus.edu. The general characteristics of the species being by and large present in all the sub-species, it is quite common for a specimen of one sub-species to be mistaken for another and sometimes traits belonging to one sub-species become manifest in another. But still the researchers have reason to believe that these divisions among sub-species do exist and the classification needs to be modified to incorporate these findings. 

1.    Alumnus promptus (or Prompt Peters in everyday parlance): This sub-species is characterized by a strong memory and a well developed area in the ‘association cortex’, that part of brain which is considered to be the centre of all nostalgic feelings. As a result, the sub-species is likely to experience a strong urge to participate in the alumni activities and is not averse to going to any extent to contact and bring others of the species together, not necessarily only the A. promptus variety.
 
2.    Alumnus retardus (or Late Latifs): This sub-species is characterized by a weak memory and/or a lazy disposition. Specimen belonging to this sub-species require constant prodding, cajoling and even threats to get activated even if it is for the common good of the species. A. retardus sometime seem to suffer from delusions of their own importance in the scheme of things and have perfected the art of cash-flow planning. However, once activated, these have a tendency to get vociferous and start demanding that they be accorded priority in everything as befits their deemed status.

3.    Alumnus regrettus (or Regretful Robins): This sub-species is characterized by a certain touch of schizophrenia. They may have a fairly strong memory and a well developed ‘association cortex’, sometimes as developed as the A. promptus but in their case the association cortex is under the influence of the limbic system, the part of brain which is the centre of work and family related emotions. This leads to a certain amount of vacillating behaviour and a sense of melancholia as the association cortex is not allowed to play its rightful role. 

4.    Alumnus ignoramus: (or Ignorant Ibrahims): This is the most interesting sub-species of all as the specimen vie with each other in exploring the unknown frontiers of bliss. The research indicates that on an average these specimens require 3 years 7 months and 14 days to wake up to the fact that some important event like silver jubilee get-together has passed them by without them noticing it. There has also been an instant where a specimen claimed that he had forgotten in which hostel he had spent the 5 years of his stay in IIT (Rejoice ye classmates of mine, for the honour does not belong to us. Thank God for small mercies). As yet, the researchers have not come across a case where some specimen has claimed that he had forgotten which IIT he / she passed out from. But with number of IITs about to grow and the intake of students set to explode, the researchers opine that the day may not be too far when that milestone is also reached.

Readers who are keen to understand the basics of behaviour of homo alumnus as a species may refer to the standard textbooks available in the Central Library, viz:

1.    “Alumni: Their Natural Habitat and Behavioral Patterns” by Al Muni (grand-nephew of late actor Paul Muni)

2.     “Alumni and Half-life of Their Relation with Alma Mater”: by Stew Dent 

 LazyBee

December 2001

Performance Appraisal

PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL

The President was alone in his office; a rarity, as a large entourage of minions would normally surround him from dawn to dusk. Through the windows of his spacious private office, he could see the early summer day setting on the trees in the garden, showing glimpses of what the landscape would look like later in the season. This would have normally gladdened the heart of the President but for the foreboding of doom he had been having for a few days now.

Gone was the euphoria when “the election of the century”, as he was fond of calling it, had swung the way he had only dreamt of. It still came as a major surprise, no doubt a pleasant one, that all his years of meticulous planning and vicious attacks on all other presidential aspirants had actually gone as per his calculations. The well-timed leaks and constant discrediting of news reports had all helped his cause. It had worked like a charm. So fantastic. But the situation seemed to be unravelling much more rapidly than he could ever have imagined. The President could feel the bile rising in him. The news media - of course, the news media and those losers in the White House administration who were working overtime leaking to the media - all seemed to be conspiring to undo all that he had worked diligently for years. The big prize, now secure in his grasp, seemed to be slipping away. The President had every right to feel furious.

He cast his mind back to General Flynn, a nice friendly guy and moreover a loyal guy. Flynn knew where his interests lay and could be trusted to obey his master, but these guys had targeted him and forced him out. Lucky it had been possible to stave off the limelight from Jeff Sessions by that diversionary tactic of bombing Assad’s Syria – a masterstroke if there was one in the international theatre in recent years.

But now there was a specter of more of his men being “exposed” - fine men who had served him faithfully and had so much potential. It would be a pity if they had to be sacrificed but when it came to power there were no compromises. That guy Comey was the one, the President thought bitterly, who had been behind all this. Comey, the one who had been amply warned but refused to take his cue. It was best to have got rid of him. Good riddance! But unfortunately the matter seemed to have been badly received by the voters. Now it was threatening to snowball; the Special Counsel, the testimonies of those oldies in CIA and DNI, Congressional and Senate hearings, the subpoenas, the matter seemed to be going out of hand.  

The President sighed. So terrible. He considered himself as a patriot and no one could doubt his patriotism surely. All he had wanted to do was to ensure that his country was at the number one spot where it rightfully belonged, but somehow he felt he had let down his great nation. His office was lined with the portraits of the founding fathers and he wanted to be placed there right among them when the time came. Often, when he was in his office, he had felt the critical gaze of the founding fathers upon him, subjecting his every action to merciless scrutiny and had sometimes felt that they were trying to convey something to him across the chasm of time. He loved to cast a lingering glance on their portraits as he left them at the end of his day but today he dreaded to meet their gaze. Failure was one thing which they would not have approved of. Finally he got out of his chair and on his way out stood under the portrait of the first one and raised his gaze.

Surprisingly there was no stern rebuke in the eyes of the first one he had expected to see, not even a look of disapproval but only benign approbation. The great man’s portrait seemed to convey a message to him and this time somehow he could decipher the message as clearly as a spoken word “We are all proud of you. You have succeeded where none of us could make much of a headway over the years. Congratulations Vladimir Vladimirovich”    

LazyBee

26^th May 2017

Donald Drumpf

                                                  Donald Drumpf  

David Cay Johnston (DCJ) is a Pulitzer Prize winner (2001) known for investigative reporting and specializes in economics and tax related matters. He has been investigating Donald J Trump (DJT) and has followed his career for last 4-5 decades. He has crossed swords with DJT over a number of issues and has been at receiving end of threats of legal action from DJT for what DJT has perceived to be unfair representation of his affairs. DCJ’s book “The Making of Donald Trump” putting DJT through a detailed scrutiny was published in August 2016. DCJ wanted the book to be available to the US citizens well before the 2016 Presidential elections so that they could make an informed choice when they went to the voting booths on November 8^th. Unfortunately he failed to influence the voters sufficiently.

Following are excerpts based on his book (and suitable paraphrasing wherever required). Comments and observations on various points are mentioned in parentheses. The story makes a compelling reading and throws light on the complex Machiavellian personality that is the 45^th President of US of A.

FAMILY HISTORY

1.     Trump family originates from Germany and their original family name was Drumpf which was changed to Trump way back in 1648.

2.     DJT’s grand-father Friedrich left his home in Kallstadt in southwest Germany in 1885 at the age of 16 years faced with the prospect of imminent mandatory military service. (The history would repeat with a twist when DJT avoided getting drafted in 1960’s under one pretext or other).

3.     Friedrich settled in Seattle and opened an establishment The Dairy Restaurant. It also served as a low-rent pleasure house. He became a citizen in 1892 by mis-representing that he had arrived in US two years before he actually had. (This art of mis-representation of facts seems to be a trait fine-tuned by his grand-son as openly stated by DCJ a number of times in the book.)

4.     Friedrich (now Americanized to Fred) went across to Canada during the Klondike gold rush to repeat his formula for success. To quote DCJ, “He set up a bar and grille calling it The Artic. It offered hard liquor and “sporting ladies” as the prostitutes were called”. (True to his form he wound up the operations in time when the gold rush bubble burst and came back to US with a good amount of profit).

5.     Hi son Fred, DJT’s father, got arrested by New York police in a clash between police and Ku Klux Klan demonstrators but was let off without any charges. (DJT has constantly denied this going to the extent of stating that his father never stayed at the said location in spite of there being documentary evidence to the entire episode).

6.     Fred got into real estate business and during WWII won government contracts of construction of apartments and barracks for naval shipyards. With this experience he got contracts for post war housing of returning GIs. Fred was neither known for good construction or being a good landlord. (Again the similarity with DJT the developer and landlord).

7.      When he was under investigation for profiteering from the government contracts, Fred agreed that he had 4 millions dollars in bank which were excess of income over costs but claimed that these were not profits as he had not withdrawn them from the bank.  (This sort of fuzzy understanding of financial matters is also a common thread among the Trumps. DJT has used it to obfuscate every enquiry about his net worth and value of any specific asset he holds with this sort of funny reasoning.)

EDUCATION

1.     DJT spent two years at University of Pennsylvania studying towards a major in economics. He has always claimed that he also did his masters at Wharton School which is also a part of U Penn. There is no record to back that claim.

2.     During a legal enquiry where DJT was asked if he knew what Net Present Value (NPV) stood for, his response: “The concept of net present value to me would be the value of the land currently after debt. Well, to me the word ‘net’ is an interesting word. It’s really - the word ‘value’ is the important word. If you have an asset that you can do other things with but you don’t choose to do them - I haven’t chosen to do that”.

3.     After hearing that gibberish the lawyer asked “Do you know what ‘generally accepted accounting principles’ or GAAP is?” Trump’s answer “No, I am not an accountant”

4.     At another point during another legal proceedings, the court noted that he had declared net worth which fluctuated very widely over a short period of time while the economic conditions in general had not varied much. e.g. as he was preparing to run for presidency he indicated his net worth as $ 8.7 billion, $ 10 billion and $ 11 billion on three different days. On an earlier occasion, an attorney asked him if his net worth goes up and down based upon his feelings. His response “Yes. Even my own feelings (among other things) as to where the world is going, and that can change rapidly from day to day………..So yeah, even my own feelings affect my value to myself”.

The lawyer continued: “When you publicly state what you are worth, what do you base that number on?” Trump relied “I would say it’s my general attitude at the time the question may be asked. And as I say it varies.”

(It is certainly difficult to imagine that a business man running an empire of 400 companies and with smartest of financial consultants at his call can have no fundas about elementary issues and standard terms in finance like above; so it has to be just his way of blustering through things with every intention of not letting outside world get close to reality regarding the state of his financial affairs). 

FRIENDS AND BUSINESS ASSOCIATES

1.     Roy Cohn – a notorious lawyer, a close friend and mentor to DJT, had strong links to mafia families operating in New York - Gambino and Castellino. He ensured that even in the times when the transport workers were on strike the supplies for trump companies went on unhindered.

2.     Johny Weichselbaum who was a twice-convicted felon ran a helicopter service for Trump casino for years. He was convicted in one more case of drug trafficking and sent to jail. Once he came out he resumed services as helicopter consultant and DJT rented him an apartment (owned by DJT personally) in Trump Plaza at an extremely concessional rate. Trump had also written a letter to the judge on Weichselbaum trial asking for leniency citing Weichselbaum as a ‘credit to community’.  

3.     Robert (Bob) Libutti was a con man who had been penalized for a number of scams in the horse –racing industry. He was a friend of DJT’s and the biggest patron of Trump’s casino in Atlantic City. He also has the distinction of being the biggest loser at Trump casino. DJT gave him many lucrative gifts including luxury cars. (One might be tempted to classify this as a ‘business expenditure’ but Libutti also had a few other connections which no doubt enhanced his value to DJT).

4.     Trump made a deal to put his name on Trump Golden Series and Trump Executie Series limousines. The Cadillacs were modified by Dillinger Coach Services. Only problem was Dillinger was owned by convicted extortionist Jack Schwartz and a convicted thief John Staluppi who was a member of a mafia family.

MEMORY

1.     DJT has always boasted that he has the greatest memory, better than anybody else. But whenever he is questioned on his ties with most of his ‘shady’ friends and business associates, he flatly acknowledges even having known them earlier with a standard excuse “I don’t remember”.  This has happened with most of the friends mentioned in earlier section.   

2.     At a later date DJT claimed that he hardly knew Johny Weichselbaum and even denied writing a letter to judge asking for leniency although the letter is part of records. Ultimately Trump had to acknowledge that the letter indeed bore its signature.

3.     Once Bob Libutti ran out of money to gamble, he was banned by Atlantic City on pretext of racial bias and Trump flatly refused to acknowledge that he knew him even when there were videos showing them together at birthday party of Libutti’s daughter.

4.     The same theme recurs whenever DJT finds it inconvenient for him to be linked up with people who are known to have bad records.    

BUSINESS PRACTICES

1.     DJT’s association with Roy Cohn has ensured ‘amicable’ relations with construction workers’ unions to the extent that construction of Trump Towers in New York was done through what has now come to be known as Polish Brigade, bunch of workers who had just been got in from Poland and made to work without adequate safety equipment (no hard hats, no face-masks or gloves) and working tools (no power tools, the construction required demolition of an existing 12 storied building. This was done manually by the workers using sledgehammers). The crew was underpaid and not even given adequate living quarters at site which made them sleep on bare floors during the New York winter. This was all brought out during a trial which was decided in favour of workers.

2.     DJT had been sued for $ 20 million by a woman who claimed he had received kick-backs from contractors – a criminal act.  DJT, who claims that he never settles a suit, promptly settled for $ 500,000.

3.     The circumstances under which he procured a license to run a casino in Atlantic City are also dubious as he failed to give complete information about the past investigations he had had undergone at the hands of law. His subsequent business dealings with associates who had a criminal record were also in contravention of the law but were not questioned by the enforcement authorities who prided themselves for being extra vigilant to ensure that the owners had no connection with organized crime.

4.     Trump University which was promoted by him in 2005 exemplifies the way in which he has carried out his various activities. Within a week of this, the New York authorities asked him to stop using the word ‘university’ as it had not been authorized by the state to do so. DJT brazenly continued to ignore that for 5 years and only in 2010 it was changed to ‘Trump Entrepreneur Initiative’. It was located at 40 Wall Street, a building owned by Trump. It happens that the address is so notorious that DCJ says it is “the address of choice for stock-market swindlers and penny stock scams”.

The ‘university’ conducted short term courses in real estate with exorbitant price tags eg a 3 day ‘Gold Elite’ course would cost $ 35,000.  DJT had personally declared in the promo videos that he would select the best faculty but the faculty chosen ultimately had no real experience in real estate which was to be the sole strength of the university. A couple of years later when DJT was sued for civil fraud in California, he could not identify a single faculty member from the photographs and videos of live events at the university.

5.     The American Academy of Hospitality Sciences has bestowed nineteen of its topmost awards to Trump golf courses, Trump Tower, Trump Taj Mahal Casino and even a lifetime award on DJT. All very great but for a small fact that The American Academy of Hospitality Sciences is run by a trust controlled by DJT. DJT himself holds a title of “Ambassador Extraordinaire”. Other trustees include DJT’s employees, relatives including his daughter Ivanka and son Donald Jr. Another trustee has been Anthony Senecal, DJT’s long time butler. The President of the Society at whose hands DJT has received his wards was Joseph Cinque whom DJT praised in a video as a “special guy”. Joseph Cinque was also a judge at Trump – owned Miss Universe pageant and a regular visitor to DJT’s New Year Eve parties at Mar-a-Lago. The only issue is that Cinque is a convicted art thief and a fence apart from having absolutely no experience in hospitality industry.

During his presidential campaign DJT was asked about Cinque’s past criminal record only to have DJT respond that he hardly knew the guy. !!! 

6.     Trump Ocean Resort in Mexico just across the border from San Diego was advertised as a Trump Portfolio property and listed on trump.com the official web-site of Trump companies. Trump himself and his children Ivanka and Donald Jr were the part of promotion campaign which attracted a number of buyers for the luxury resorts. Over a period the narrative changed and Trumps proclaimed that the Trump name had been only licensed to the actual Developers and Trumps have absolutely no responsibility towards the project beyond that. A number of buyers sued the Trumps and they had to settle with the buyers.

A similar story seems to have unfolded in Hawaii for Trump International Hotel and Tower at Waikiki Beach Walk where Trump was projected as co-developer and partner in the project. It was only later that the buyers discovered that Trump had merely licensed his name to the project with the Trumps claiming that although they were developing the resort they were not “the Developers” and here too, the Trumps had to settle the suit filed by disenchanted buyers. Similar tales have been repeated in a number of projects.

Comments:

Perhaps more shocking is his attitude towards debt. During his campaign in 2006 DJT told CNBC: “I’ve borrowed knowing that you can pay back with discounts. And I’ve done very well with debt.” (No one should be surprised to find out that Trump has filed for bankruptcies under Chapter 11 a total of 6 times – Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City (1990), two more casinos in Atlantic City (1992), Plaza Hotel New York (1992), Trump Hotels and Casino Resorts (2004) and Trump Entertainment Resorts (2009).

If US wanted to have someone who could run the country like a corporate enterprise, Donald J Trump should have been the last of its choices. I could not get a figure about how many billions the investors in Trump’s companies have lost as a result of his six bankruptcies but his seventh bankruptcy could be by far the worst of them all and it would cost all of us in trillions of US$.

His Income tax returns have generated a lot of debate. Trump has not released his returns for the last few years under the excuse that they are still under audit. With a slew of 400 companies where he has interests and each with some complication or other, it is doubtful if the world will ever see these returns to confirm or dispel the doubts that everyone has about his businesses and his net worth. 

This then is the man who is now the President of USA, arguably the most powerful position on the globe today. I don’t know how many of US citizens still find him honest and trustworthy but I wonder if even 1% of unbiased readers of this piece would still harbor any illusions about him. God save the USA and frankly God save the world.   

LazyBee

22^nd  April 2017

Remarks:

1.     The author David Cay Johnston has provided necessary links to the documents in his book on which the information presented here is based (The Making of Donald Trump by Melville House, Brooklyn and London). Moreover he has offered to send links to any relevant documents that a reader may not be able to obtain. He is contactable on davidcayjohnston@me.com

2.     The information about Trump’s bankruptcies are from www.washingtonpost.com

___________________________________________________________________

Note : You are getting this mail because you have something common with the sender and perhaps a healthy sense of humour to enjoy a chuckle or two once in a while.

Hope you have enjoyed this blog and won't mind receiving such mails once in a while. 

Just in case you feel that the brand of humour that is served in this blog and / or the ideas expressed here are not quite up to your taste, please let me know and I will de-list your name with profuse apologies for having intruded on your personal space. 

But just in case you feel urge to share this with some of your like-minded friends please do so. You may even send a mail to me to add them on the mailing list at lazybee.thefirst@gmail.com